Well of course as parents we are not going to use these words, it will make us just as bad as the parent that watches his child hurt another kid and does nothing!
Yesterday my little ones were playing in our friend's pool. They seemed to be getting along and having fun with all the other guests. A girl about 6 or 7 arrived and she very kindly asked my daughter if she could barrow her arm floats and she'll give them back. Of course my daughter said yes (please note that she is learning how to swim and she is terrified of the water), but as a kind-hearted child she agreed. After about half hour, she realized she wanted them back because she was not having fun since she could not swim. She approached the other girl (that could swim) and asked if she could have them back, the response she got? NO!!
She then continued to tell my daughter that she should know how to swim that all big-kids know how to and that she should not be afraid. All of this was said in a mean manner, sort of like mocking her. So when she came and told me all this, I was mad and mostly because HER mom was their in the pool watching all this happen. My daughter asked me why are kids so mean, how come her mom doesn't tell her anything and why is she in the pool if she doesn't deserve it.
As a mom that hates to see her child upset, I wanted to tell her because her MOM doesn't care and is not raising her with manners! She is spoiled rotten and unless she gets some discipline she will not succeed in life.
Instead, I got down to my knees and told her the following: "Sometimes other children may be a little different than us, and that's OK. Some mommies try their best to teach them good manners, but their children might not understand. We should not let them hurt our feelings and all we have to do is simply say Ok, and walk away. Play with other kids and leave the mean kids alone, ignore them. You are doing very well in learning how to swim and not be afraid of the water, I'm so proud of you!"
Of course we never think about these things before hand, we don't carry a book that says "In case this happens, here's what to say" (although it would be nice!). I'm sure I could have worded everything differently or taken a different approach, but I know that my daughter understood me and at the same time I did not fall into the well-go-tell-her-something-mean-also type.
We ended up having so much fun and she had forgotten by the end of the night!
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